3 Years of my Bloxay YouTube channel and stories about it

YouTube has always meant so, so much to me. For me, it's an escape from the real world. Not to get too dramatic here, but creating YouTube content means so much, and I wish that I could do it more. I'm forever greatful that I've made it this far in YouTube, and hope to take it even further in the coming years.

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A lot of people ask me online what its like being a YouTuber. Often I don't really call myself that since its not my job yet or anything, just a hobby so far, but when I do answer sometimes, I reply that it's fun, and it is. Playing videogames and chatting with gamers who share the same interests as me, and knowing that I provide some sort of value that others watch me and my content is so great, and its really nice knowing that I have people that care about that stuff.

On the flipside however, I think something that a lot of people forget is that on the internet, covered by the fact that nobody knows your real-life identity, some people can be horrible to deal with. I get it, people do things for attention, and getting a reaction from a kid online can be satisfying to some in a sick way, but you never really think of the negative things which can happen until they happen.

About one or two years ago (I can't remember exactly and I'm not bothered enough to look it up), a group of people joined my live chat and started trolling. You can always tell the trolls from the normal viewers immediately because they either start trolling immediately or act entirely innocent while asking subtle things like 'how old are you' and stuff. Anyway, the trolls ended up joining my Discord server, and since I had my DMs open to talk to friends and fans, they send gore in my DMs. It wasn't horrific gore, but it was an obviously fake picture of someone shot and blood everywhere and stuff. I can't remember exactly, and to be truthful, I didn't really care. I knew beforehand about trolls, however nobody had actually done something to me before, although, I would say that I handled it awesomely. Instead of giving them the attention that they wanted so bad (I'm sure they were picturing me in tears sobbing because someone sent this image, all laughing in a Discord VC call), I just stayed silent, blocked them, and continued on with the stream. They got no reaction except for a small little Discord server announcement saying that I would close my DMs (which you should 100% do too). I guess I'm giving them attention now, but I don't think they're listening.

My point of saying all this isn't to get empathy or something, but its to say that no matter what you do in life, things can get tough at times. It's about getting through them which is very important. I guess you could call it a way of gamifying life. When I'm older I'll talk more about a lot of things.

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WARNING: You are about to read philosophy stuff from a 15 year old. It will be stupid.

Recently I've been diving into the philosophy of nihilism, the belief that nothing in the world has meaning. I'd be lying to you if I said that I understood all of it, or even half of it. A few days ago if someone asked me about it I would've said that I subscribed to the belief of it, however, after really thinking about it for a bit, I just wouldn't anymore. Well, I guess I agree to a certain degree. I think nothing any of us do matter long-term (is anyone actually contesting to that statement?), I mean eventually the universe will die. Everything is born and everything dies. But when you are alive, and when you are on Earth, you have the choice to either accept that and die doing nothing, or accept that and still try. Turn your back to the darkness of nihilism and mortality and go out and live your best life. I'm not one to make that choice, and I have no evidence that this is the case but I believe you will live a much, much happier life if you do this. That belief may not have been the reason why I started my YouTube channel, but its the reason I keep it going. I love doing it, and if I can make just one single person happier from it, then I'm happy. My life is complete. (I understand many YouTubers say that final sentence so many times and I'm never sure they truly mean it but I know I do).

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I understand my channel is tiny. According to Social Blade there are 50 thousand Australian channels with more subscribers, and 7.7 million channels with more globally. I also understand that at any time my channel could be killed instantly by THE ALGORITHM, but while I do have this awesome opportunity for a small amount of people to watch my content, I really do hope I can make their day better, even if its for five minutes, because thats what so many YouTubers have done to me.

In fact, let me give a big thank you to these following YouTubers for being awesome when I was younger. These YouTubers helped inspire me to create my own channel:

•  https://www.youtube.com/@DanTDM. DanTDM used to be a really cool YouTuber, I just don't enjoy his content as much anymore. He was one of the main YouTubers who inspired me to create my three channels (two dead ones + Bloxay). I still really like DanTDM as a YouTuber, just his content doesn't appeal to me anymore.

• https://www.youtube.com/@KreekCraft. KreekCraft was again someone who inspired me to create my channel, this time @Bloxay, for livestreaming. I used to love his Jailbreak livestreams, they were really awesome. I don't really like KreekCraft after he quit Jailbreak and slowly appealed more and more to young kids by doing stuff like the "Timmy" voice.

• https://www.youtube.com/@stampycat. Stampy was the first YouTuber I ever remember watching, and although his content hasn't appealed to me for a long time, I still really respect that he still has his one video series, Stampy's Lovely World, still ongoing. I think it's set to wrap up later this year which will be the end of an era, but nevertheless, awesome work.

I could keep going on for ages and ages, but genuinely, I could create blog posts about each of these creators and many more. Maybe one day I will, I don't know.

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That's it for this blog post. I hope it didn't derail too much. Thank you so much for three epic years and I'm hoping for many more years to come. I really wish I had something to show you all today, like a video or something. To be truthful, I'm working on a channel rebrand, and wanted to have it ready for today, but it's just not ready yet. Stay tuned for that! Anyway, have a good day!

Farewell,
Bloxay